Gereja katolik Miri
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Perkahwinan

Perkahwinan

Perkahwinan Gereja




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Campuran perkahwinan

Adakah perkahwinan bukan Katolik sahih di mata Gereja Katolik?

Secara umum, perkahwinan antara orang bukan Katolik, agama apa pun, dianggap sahih, tetapi keadaannya tidak semudah itu kerana ada dua jenis perkawinan:

Perkahwinan semula jadi (biasa) - jadi perkahwinan antara dua orang Buddha atau dua umat Islam adalah perkahwinan semula jadi. Dengan mengandaikan tiada halangan, perkahwinan antara Buddha dan Muslim adalah perkahwinan semula jadi yang sahih.

Perkahwinan supranatural (sakramental) - Perkahwinan supranatural hanya wujud antara orang yang dibaptiskan. Perkahwinan antara dua orang Protestan atau dua Ortodoks Timur juga akan berlaku, mengandaikan tiada halangan, tetapi ini adalah perkahwinan supranatural (sakramental) dan dengan itu tidak dapat dilepaskan.

Apabila satu pasangan adalah seorang Katolik dan yang lain adalah bukan Katolik-ini biasanya disebut "perkahwinan bercampur" -pemulihan keadaan. Sama seperti negara mempunyai kuasa mengawal perkahwinan warga negara mereka dengan menghendaki mereka mendapat ujian darah atau berkahwin di hadapan pihak berkuasa yang berwibawa, maka Jemaat mempunyai hak untuk mengawal perkahwinan "warganegara "nya.





Sekiranya seorang peserta adalah seorang Katolik yang tidak meninggalkan Gereja dengan suatu perbuatan rasmi, seperti dengan secara rasmi bergabung dengan gereja lain, dia mesti mendapatkan dispensasi untuk perkahwinan itu, yang mana akan disekat oleh halangan perkahwinan yang bercampur-campur atau dengan perbezaan halangan kultus. Seorang Katolik yang tidak meninggalkan Gereja dengan akta formal juga mesti mendapatkan dispensasi untuk berkahwin di hadapan seorang menteri bukan Katolik. Jika salah satu dispensasi ini tidak diperoleh, perkahwinan itu tidak sahih.




English Translations


GENERAL PRINCIPLES

As Catholics we have certain structures and rituals that are to be respected, just like a family that has its own social traditions. These guidelines are meant to inform and aid you in planning a wedding liturgy that is in accord with these respective structures. Please pay particular attention to the guidelines for music, church décor and photographs. For the sake of consistency and fairness to other couples, please do not ask for exceptions to these guidelines.



ENCOUNTER WITH THE SACRED

Since marriage in the Catholic Church is a sacramental encounter between Christ and His Body, the Church, each celebration should be planned so as to provide a means whereby this encounter is clearly seen and joyfully proclaimed. In your preparation of this celebration, you need to be mindful of the    sacredness of the space wherein Christ comes to join you, your guests and the parish community in a visible manifestation of His love. Anything which would inhibit such a holy encounter ought to be avoided or done at a more appropriate place, such as the reception.



RESPECTING THE HOUSE OF GOD

Because of the sacredness of the Church’s house of prayer, we ask you to observe the following:

1. No alcoholic beverages are allowed in the parish grounds  either before or after the wedding rehearsal or wedding liturgy.

2. Due to fire regulations, smoking within the Church building is prohibited at all times.

3. Remind your wedding party that the church building is sacred. For this reason, when coming to church for the rehearsal and wedding, talking is most welcome, but should be kept at an appropriate volume.

4. Out of respect for the Blessed Sacrament, hats and caps should be removed and gum chewing should be avoided.

One of the joys of a wedding is that it gives everyone an  opportunity to dress up and look their best. Casual clothes are definitely not appropriate, unless the invitation indicates otherwise. For a church wedding, your outfit should not be too

1. revealing, it should be modest and smart. Please be informed that you may be given an extra covering to wear if your clothes becomes a distraction. If you are unsure at all, contact the Wedding Coordinator/priest.

2. Clean up: It is your responsibility after the wedding to leave the place as clean as you found it. We suggest that you ask the ushers to accept as part of their role, to walk around and pick up any papers, flower boxes, discarded film supplies, Kleenex, pew markers, runners, etc. and help in the general clean-up of the vestibule as well as the church. This is really important at any wedding we have, but especially when we have to get ready to celebrate other liturgies (Masses,  Baptism, Funerals, etc.) in the church after your wedding.



PREPARING YOUR WEDDING LITURGY

We live in a society that puts more emphasis on the marriage day than on the marriage. And, although engaged couples look to marriage with great hope, many see preparation for married life as something to be gotten out of the way so that they can get on with all the time consuming preparations for the wedding day.



Therefore, it is the policy to provide the very best marriage preparation possible for each of our engaged couples. This preparation  involves several steps that begin at least six months and, preferably, a year before the marriage.



STEP ONE:

The couple contacts the Priest or Wedding Coordinator/priest  for an appointment. Do not make any other plans contingent on the date and time until you have seen the Priest.



STEP TWO: Pre-Nuptial Enquiry.

The Priest meets with the couple two or three times.

In the first meeting with the couple the priest will explain the Church requirements and the Marriage Law of this country. The impediments to marriage are also explained and clarified for the couple. Impediments affect the validity or lawfulness of marriage in various degrees. Some impediments can be dispensed from; others cannot.

Be frank and honest with the priest about all possible circumstances concerning your marriage, and he will advise you on how to proceed in each particular case.

 STEP THREE: The couple goes to the Marriage Preparation Course
These are usually given by married couples who share the ups and downs of their marriage experience. We've found that most often engaged couples go to these sessions feeling that they don't need them, and that they know pretty much all there is to know about being married. Rarely does a couple attend the marriage preparation program and not benefit from them. Being married is a continual process of growth and communication. The  Sacrament of Marriage is a lifelong grace.



STEP FOUR: The Couple returns to the Priest for one or two meetings.
The Priest explains and talks with the couple about the Sacrament of Marriage.
The couple discusses their perceptions and reactions to the marriage preparation process. By now they should know each other fairly well, so that the Priest who is asked to witness the marriage can honestly say that the couple is well prepared to enter marriage.
The wedding ceremony is planned that reflects the unique  personalities and commitment of the couple to one another, to God and the Church.

SACRAMENT OF PENANCE: Catholic persons entering  marriage are encouraged to receive the Sacrament of Penance close to the time of marriage.

DOCUMENTS NEEDED
If you are a Catholic: You will need a recent copy of your  baptism and confirmation records. These must be dated within six months of the wedding: you cannot submit the baptism  certificate you received as a child. If you are not a registered member of the local church, you will need a letter of permission from the pastor of the parish in which you are registered. If you are not a Catholic: You will need a record of your baptism or a birth certificate, and a letter from a parent or clergy member, certifying that you are free to marry.
Further, please note the following documentation requirements:
1. If you are a Foreigner, you may need to provide documentary evidence in the form of a license from your Consular Office which states that you are eligible to marry abroad.
2. For all other marriages, Malaysian law requires that the couples requires first be registered with the Marriage Registrar at the Registration Office or any other authorized bodies at least within one month of the wedding date.

DONATIONS AND FEES
There is no set offering for the officiating priest.

SECURING MUSICIANS FOR YOUR WEDDING
Sacramental guidelines state that no secular music may be played or sung before, during, or after the wedding. This includes, but is not limited to, popular songs, show tunes, jigs and reels, and  operatic selections.
No musician may be hired without the prior permission of the Priest. Please do not ask family members or friends to sing or play at your wedding without consulting with us first. Even when a guest organist is permitted to play, and if  you choose to have a soloist or singers for your wedding, you must: (a) clear your selection with the priest, and (b) make arrangements for piano accompaniment.
If you wish a vocalist or ensemble, the priest can help you make the needed arrangements. The only appropriate music at a Wedding Liturgy is Liturgical Music. If you have a specific request in regard to a psalm, hymn or instrumental selection, the Music Coordinator/priest will assist you.
Apart from extraordinary circumstances, we do not invite outside organists to play.


CEREMONY: The Priest or Wedding Coordinator/priest working with you will give you materials to assist you in the planning of your wedding.
Family members, members of the bridal party and friends, are encouraged to be part of your wedding ceremony.

WEDDING COORDINATOR or Priest
Please consult him for all matters regarding your wedding liturgy and for the rehearsal.

WEDDING DATE
The customary church of marriage is that of the bride, but it may be performed at the church of either the bride or the groom. The proper church of marriage is always that of the Catholic party. No wedding date may be set before the couple has met with the priest of their choice. The policy of the local church usually requires six month notice to ensure enough time for preparation. The date and time of the wedding should be discussed with the priest at the initial meeting.
In accord with the ancient tradition of the Church, and in order for us to live out the themes of the Church’s liturgical year, the Church does not encourage weddings or baptisms during Advent and the penitential season of Lent (Ash Wednesday through Holy Thursday). If you must have your   wedding during these seasons, please bear in mind that there is a ban on flowers and decorations during Lent.

WEDDING TIME
There are no fixed day and time for weddings other than that no weddings can be scheduled on Sunday due to the number of Masses on this day. Weddings date and time are set according to clergy and facility availabilities. Wedding celebration will take approximately 45-60 minutes depending whether it will be a full Mass or a Service. Marriages between Catholics are usually  celebrated within a Mass while marriages between a Catholic and a non-Catholic party is celebrated without Holy Communion in the Wedding Service.


INTERFAITH WEDDING
The marriage of Catholics, even if only one party is Catholic, is regulated not only by divine law, but also by canon law, without prejudice to the competence of civil authority concerning merely civil effects of the marriage. (can. 1059)
With the permission of the local Ordinary, the Rite for  Celebrating Marriage within Mass may also be used in mixed marriages between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic, if the situation warrants it. If yours is an ecumenical (interfaith)  wedding, a minister of another faith is welcome to participate in the Rite of Marriage without a Mass (Service) by giving  additional prayers, blessings, or words of greeting or exhortation. We regret that the Roman Catholic Church law (can. 1127, §3) forbids religious celebration in which a Catholic assistant and the non-Catholic minister together, following their own rite, ask for the consent of the marriage parties.
You have the option of including the Mass in your wedding celebration, even if it is an interfaith marriage. The decision to have or not to have a Mass should never be automatic, but should be carefully considered in light of your faith, the families, and the guests involved. As a prayer and a sign of unity, the Mass is  unexcelled, but the reception of Communion may be a sign of disunity and a source of embarrassment for people of non-Catholic faiths. In this situation it is ecumenically sensitive not to have a Mass, but rather a Service, since half of the congregation cannot fully participate in the Holy Communion.

PRESIDER
The normal presider at our wedding celebration is local Priest.

VISITING PRESIDER
Should you wish to invite a family priest or guest priest to officiate at your wedding, courtesy dictates that you speak first to the Pastor, before inviting another priest to preside. We will ask you to ask the visiting priest to write a letter to the local Bishop , asking for delegation or permission to officiate. The letter should indicate his commitment to the date and time of your wedding. The visiting priest should prepare both of you through the normal marriage preparation programs. The parish here is happy to prepare you for marriage if the visiting priest is unable to do it.

ALTAR SERVERS
Please make arrangements with the parish office if you wish to have altar servers. A monetary gift should be made directly to each altar server for their time. If you want a particular server from the parish, please contact the altar server and his family  directly and then inform or have them inform the parish office.

LECTOR / READER
In Catholic liturgy, the lector/reader does not just “read the    Bible.” In this special role, the lector helps to make Christ present among the gathered community of faith. You may choose two lectors, one to proclaim the Old Testament passage, and one to proclaim the New Testament reading which you select. (The priest will proclaim the gospel). Our parish liturgical guidelines suggest that the lectors you choose:
· Be a practicing Catholic
· Received the sacrament of Confirmation
       Have the skills necessary to read and proclaim well.
A third person (Catholic or non-Catholic) may be chosen to announce the intentions for the General Intercessions.
We encourage your readers to spend a few minutes with one of our parish lectors in order to prepare properly for an effective proclamation of God's Word. This can be arranged for a   convenient time.

Notes for the Lector:
· Readings are proclaimed from the ambo (pulpit)
· Readings are proclaimed from the Lectionary, the Church’s ritual book, not from photocopied sheets. The Lectionary will be marked for your reading.
Remember to read more slowly and deliberately than you would in normal conversation

· The customary introduction / conclusion of a reading are as printed: “A reading from the book/letter …” All Old and New Testament readings conclude with a few seconds of    silence, followed by “The Word of the Lord.” Please note the summary or commentary statement in small print or italic is not read, nor is the Bible citation (chapter and verse number).

CANDLES, VEIL AND CORD
The friends you invite to be secondary sponsors who will take care of the Candles, Veil and Cord should know what to do, and when to do it. The ceremony involving this is normally done  immediately after the Sanctus (Holy, Holy …): two candles are lit, one on either side of the couple; then the veil is laid over the head of the Bride and the shoulders of the Groom; and finally, the cord in the form of an 8 is placed over the shoulders of both the Bride and the Groom.
This part of the ceremony, however, is best done under advisement from the presider.
The Cord and Veil are removed after the final prayer; the candles are put out by the sacristan (or altar servers) after the Mass.


GIFT BEARERS
You may have two people bring forward the gifts of bread and wine during the preparation of the gifts if you celebrate mass at your wedding. Bread and Wine are the primary physical elements of eucharist, and should not be obscured by trying to fit in “gifts” such as chalices, patens, purificators, etc. to meet a desire for more participants.


RING BEARERS AND FLOWER GIRLS
In choosing the ring bearers and flower girls, please be realistic in the age of the child(ren) you choose. Young children often are frightened easily. We strongly encourage you to choose children who are old enough to understand that something serious is going on, and they have to behave accordingly. Six or seven might be the right age.


BRIDAL PROCESSION
The ceremony begins with the Bridal Procession – the solemn entrance of the Bride.
In two lines, the Bridal Entourage marches into the church: first, the ring and coin bearers; then the flower girls, followed by the bridesmaids; now come the sponsors; and finally, the Bride, on the left arm of her father or guardian.
In the meantime, the Bridegroom, accompanied by the Best Man, waits at the foot of the sanctuary. When the bride reaches the place where the Groom is waiting, her father or guardian “gives her away” to him; then the couple – the Bride on the left arm of the Groom – walks up to the altars. The Best Man and the Bridal Entourage take the places previously assigned to them.

PHOTOGRAPHER/VIDEOGRAPHER
We are happy to have the presence of your photographer and/or videographer in the church on the joyous and sacred occasion of your wedding as long as they observe the proper decorum. The photographers must never interfere with the sacredness of the moment. Remember, the best photographer is one who is not   noticed.
Please ask them to check with the Priest officiating before the wedding ceremony begins. They should be as reverent and  inconspicuous as possible and stay a discreet distance away from the Sanctuary area. The rules governing professional photography are definite and designed to uphold the sanctity of the ceremony.
From our past experience, it’s best if photographers do not use the area in front of the first row of pews. We have often found them obscuring the view of the family and friends invited to witness the exchange of vows. Photographers should not use the center aisle once the liturgy has begun. If close-up shots are  desired, they may be restaged after the liturgy.
Photographs may be taken from the sides or from the aisles, using natural light. No one is allowed in the altar and sanctuary areas. No flash photography may be taken during the ceremony.
Out of respect for the liturgy, photographers are expected to remain stationary during the Mass or ceremony, except for the entrance and exit of the wedding party. Photographs may be taken from the balcony. Videographers are limited to two cameras.
No additional microphones may be placed in the Church, and no video editing equipment is permitted in the Church. Out of  respect for the liturgy, Videographers are also expected to remain stationary during the Mass or ceremony, except for the entrance and exit of the wedding party. Videos may be taken from the balcony.

FLOODLIGHTS ARE NOT PERMITTED AT ANY TIME IN THE CHURCH as they pose a distraction to the assembly, and present seeing difficulties for those who lead the liturgy. Also, given to advances in today’s video technology, extra lighting is seldom necessary.
Video cameras must be stationery, mounted on a stand or hand-held in a pew. Videographers should not roam through the church once the liturgy has begun.



FLOWERS, RUNNER, PEWS/AISLE DECORATIONS
You may want to order flowers for the Church. If so, there are a number of locations where they may be placed. Flowers, however, should not be placed on the main altar.
· Aisle bows should be secured by elastic bands, or taped to the benches.
· You may want to purchase a disposable runner or rent a cloth one from your florist.
· Any floral arrangements and church decorations you do  desire are your responsibility to provide. Altar flowers are customarily (although not obligatory) left as a donation to the church.
· The possibility of sharing flowers with other couples being married on the same day/weekend may be planned so as to share the expense.
· The church can also assist you with flower arrangements according to your budget.
· If your wedding will be held on a Saturday morning or afternoon and you have decided to donate your floral arrangement to the Church,
· To prevent an overcrowded environment, flowers may be situated in the following places:
o in front of the altar (center, or two smaller arrangements around the clusters of candles on the sides of the altar. If placed in front of the altar, the arrangement cannot be higher than the top of the altar
o in front of the ambo (pulpit) – not higher than 53 inches in total
o on the plant stand provided by the parish on the wall behind the altar
o a small arrangement in the church lobby as a sign of   welcome and hospitality.
o In reality, an aisle runner is not necessary and incurs an added cost to you. At times from our experience, a runner can pose some safety risks, particularly for your guests during communion time if you all be celebrating mass. If you do wish to use a runner, use the kneeler to weigh down the runner at the altar. The runner should not be taped to the floor.
o Church decor should never distract from the primary  action at the altar.



THE WEDDING REHEARSAL
Promptness at the Rehearsal is very important since we cannot  begin until everyone involved in the wedding ceremony is present.
To allow for a smooth and quick rehearsal, we ask that you decide the following BEFORE arriving in church for the rehearsal:
· Bridesmaids/Groomsmen – assign partners and the order and manner in which they are to process.
· Rings – it is recommended that the Best Man carry the bride and groom’s ring in his coat pocket. Ring bearers may carry the actual rings if you desire, though many are reluctant to place expensive jewelry on the pillow of a young ring bearer.

If you are going to use one, bring your unity candle set to the rehearsal.
It is also important for you, the members of the bridal party and your invited guests to remember that your marriage is taking place in a sacred place, viz., the Church. It is expected that all members of your bridal party and invited guests will conduct themselves  accordingly the night of the rehearsal.
It might be helpful for you to remind your bridal party and invited guests prior to the rehearsal.
If you are having a visiting Priest officiate at your wedding ceremony, we invite them to come the night of the rehearsal. Please contact the Wedding Coordinator/priest to arrange your rehearsal time. Wedding rehearsal is normally done a few days before the wedding day.
It is important that all members of the wedding party be present and ON TIME.  It is at this time that the Wedding Coordinator/priest and the entire wedding party will run through the ceremony and organize the details.


FINAL REMINDERS
· NO rice, confetti, birdseed, flower petals or anything else may be tossed, or bubbles blown. Ask your guests to save this for your reception.
· No candles, other, than those supplied by the parish and a unity candle (if desired and supplied by you) are permitted in the church.
· Please remove all trash from the church and sacristy. This  includes flower boxes, programs, program boxes, flash bulbs, film canisters, and aisle runners.
· You will be asked to do the clean up after the wedding if you do not observe this courtesy. This is because another event may begin soon after your wedding and we do not have the resources to clear it before the next event. Your cooperation will be greatly appreciated.
      Parish liturgical/seasonal decorations are not to be removed. Any seasonal decorations established by the parish liturgy committee take precedence over any one special liturgy such as wedding,  baptism or funeral. For example, according to Church law, there is ban of flowers during the penitential Lenten season. This applies not only to Sunday worship, but also to weddings. On the other hand, the seasons of Easter and Christmas, rich with flowers and appropriate decorations, might indicate that you don’t have to buy flowers at all.


THE DAY OF YOUR WEDDING: PLEASE BE ON TIME!!!!!
It is important that you be on time for your wedding. Courtesy to your guests, and the parish and clergy schedule, demand attention to this matter.
If your wedding is scheduled for 11:00 AM, it is important that the bride be walking down the aisle at 11:00 AM.
Don't let the Photographer/Videographer determine the time you start!
Within the Church , many different events are scheduled on a given day. There will be ample time for your wedding if you begin on time.
Other events which may either precede or follow your wedding include other weddings, baptisms, parish Masses or Funerals. In fairness to these other families, please begin on time!
Your promptness will be appreciated not only by your guests, the musicians, Officiant, but also by the bride and family of the wedding following yours, or by the family grieving the death of a loved one at an incoming funeral.
Ushering will begin 15 minutes prior to the ceremony.



CAR PARKING
The car parking facilities in the church ground are limited and heavily being used during school days. Please remind your guests to car pool and park only in authorized area. Your cooperation in this area is most appreciated to avoid your car being towed away or the wedding celebration being interrupted!



SEATING
Guests are seated in the front of the Church on either side of the main aisle.  The left side is usually reserved for the Bride’s  family and the right side for the groom’s family.  If you have family or friends who should be formally seated, please inform the Wedding Coordinator; this will be explained and practiced at the rehearsal.


NOTES/CHECKLIST:

 Wedding Date and Time: _______________________

 Priest Officiating at Wedding: ______________________

Marriage Preparation Program Arranged.
Marriage Preparation Program Completed.
Long Form of Baptism. (From your Church of Baptism)
Date/Place of Confirmation.
Music Coordinator notified/date confirmed.
Rehearsal Date and Time Arranged with the Wedding Coordinator
  Date & time: _____________________________________

  Florist notified of Church policies.
Photographer/Videographer notified of Church policies.
Civil License from Marriage Registrar obtained and given to Priest.
Letter of Permission/Delegation to Church from Out-of- state Priest to Officiate. (If Needed)
Delegation from local Marriage Registrar for an out-of-state Priest to Officiate. (If Needed)
Offering for Church, servers, organist.


Congratulations!







Compiled by Ben Chang










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